This is not a super long post but it is about something that has been on my heart a lot lately! The topic is:
OH, I am of tired of hearing this phrase over and over again. First, because I hear it so much from other mamas and second, because when my brain goes there I have to tell it to STOP. It can creep up on you REAL easy.
I can look at Instagram, or even just be with other mama friends from church and think, "wow - their kid only has one snack a day and eats all their veggies, and has a 20 min TV limit... shoot... my kid is going to be chubby and an idiot." LOL, I'm KIDDING.. but seriously... we think these things people!
I think mom guilt can easily come to our thoughts daily and I think a lot of this stems from comparison of other moms. If 'Comparison is the thief of JOY' (Teddy Rosevelt) then "MOM GUILT" is the accomplice to the thief of joy (Ashley Higgins LOL). We can't do it. We can't compare, and we cannot keep putting all this guilt and pressure on ourselves that nobody has put there but us.
I've found the only way to combat this so called "mom guilt" myself is to go back to what is true.
Seriously. When my mind tells me things that are different from what is true, that's not good. SO I have to speak truth to myself... So, what is true?
"I AM a good mom. I don't need to feel guilty about putting my child in his bed for 15 minutes to play by himself while I get ready for bible study and cheer (my job)."
"I AM a good mom. I don't need to feel guilty about having Haddie play in her room while I read my bible and work on bible study."
"I AM a good mom. My kids choices for lunch all week are frozen pizza, frozen dino nuggets, or pb&j."
"I AM a good mom. We are going to watch TV and sit in the living room because I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed today."
"I AM a good mom. We are going to be in the car for over an hour today."
"I AM a good mom. We are on our third snack while I'm on the phone for a work call."
"I AM a good mom. My kids can be at a sitter while I work out at the gym."
"I AM a good mom. I did not spend time reading the bible today."
"I AM a good mom. I am not going to feel guilty that we didn't get out of the house today, go to the park, go to the zoo, go to the museum, go to the library, or go to a friends house."
"I AM a good mom." ______________________ Fill in the Blank. It could be anything.
Repeat it to yourself! Over and over again.
Since I have part time jobs, I have responsibilities during the day other than my beloved babes. This is not "unfortunately I have other responsibilities" but true blessings and answered prayers that God has given our family so that I can help provide for my family. I have to be on my computer, my phone, and we have to be in the car 3 times a week for over an hour. I've learned that if I train my mind differently and speak truth to myself, then it really frees me up to be who God has created me to be.
I tell Haddie that I need to work on my computer for 20 minutes because I love her and that I'm working because I am taking care of her. Louie is still too little to understand, but Haddie is starting to get it. I explain the "why" behind my jobs so that she knows I don't do it to be away from her or to get some alone time, but because I LOVE her and her and daddy and I work to provide for her and the things she loves like fruit snacks, goldfish, and Townhouse crackers. I hope my daughter sees how hard I work because I love her and that she's empowered by that as she grows up. The last thing I need during the day is for her to be sad that I'm working because that will only make me feel "bad" for working and play into the "mom guilt." When mom works, the house is happy, because mom is doing what God has called her to do and that is to help provide right now!
I hope you feel encouraged. I don't know where you are at right now. Stay at home, full time job, or somewhere in-between like me, but I pray that God leads you in a mindset that he has called us to for such a time as this. Speak truth to yourself! You are a GREAT mom!
"...Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—THINK ABOUT SUCH THINGS."