New things are not always fun. Some embrace change while others run from it. Some change is overwhelming and yet so exciting like motherhood or getting married! Change tends to get a negative connotation but it's easy to see why sometimes. I mean, I love a routine. I thrive in a routine and I think a lot of us do. I love knowing what time my kids are waking up and what I'm doing on specific days because that creates rhythm. I love security. Sometimes after change it's hard to get into your "sync" and nobody likes feeling "off" even when the change was a good change.
In the last 6 years, I graduated college, got married, moved three times, been in 5 different houses/apartments, had two children, worked full time, quit working, started two part time jobs, and started a blog. That sounds like a lot but most of you have had just as much or MORE change than I have in the past few years. Whether we like it or not.. things are bound to CHANGE and I wanted to share a few things that have helped me roll with it (in general and as a mom) and actually come to enjoy the process!
First, acknowledge that change is tough, yet also exciting, and I'm so glad that someone else is in control! Should we move or should we stay? PRAY. Should I take this job or that? PRAY. Should I date this person or not? PRAY. By continually taking our questions and our problems to the Lord, he will continue to show us his will, if we are following Him.
As easy as it is to run to your spouse, your best friend, or to your mama, I need to remind myself daily that I need to run to the Lord FIRST. He may choose to answer our hard questions about change (like with Seth's and I's last move), and if he doesn't give you a direct answer, he will guide you throughout your decision (like choosing my college).
2. You gotta play offense.
Insecurities are everywhere. It will take you less than a minute on your phone before you start comparing someone's clothes, kids, car, husband, money, or body.
While I don't always feel like it, I've learned that you gotta play offense, no matter how you feel in the midst of change or a new environment. Every time we move somewhere or I go to something new, I have gotta get this in my mind!
What does this mean? I am married to a football coach so I say it in his terms. LOL It means you gotta gain yards and be confident in how you are going to do it!
What this PRACTICALLY means for me is to be BOLD. I go to a new bible study, I go to a new women's group, I go to a new library, I go to a new park... and I plan to be the TALKER. The initiator. I plan to talk to others instead of waiting for others to come to me.
It's so easy to sit in a new study or at a new church or a new work out class and wait for others to notice you. To wonder why no one came by to say "Hi" or introduce themselves or to give you a compliment. But see, everyone is waiting for someone to come do the same to THEM! We are all insecure!
Even as a new girl somewhere.. go in with the mindset to be a "talker" and an "ENCOURAGER" even if you don't feel like thats you! (I am not a natural talker because Seth usually does all the talking, so this really takes me out of my comfort zone a lot! I like to listen more!).
Easy ways to do this:
-Give a compliment. Look for a mom at the park and say, "Wow! Love that stroller. What kind is that?" See a girl next to you at the nail salon: "My friend has been reading that book, what's it about? Do you like it?" Take anything you can find... even if you don't really know what book it is and start conversations. You never know where this will lead and I have found friends in places by just choosing to be BRAVE with a simple compliment to get the ball rolling.
-Don't make it hard. Just ask the simple questions. Are you from here? Where do ya'll go to church? What does your husband do? Do you work? Do you like living here? Do you come here often? If you have kids and they have kids, then this is easy... there are a MILLION kid questions. lol
3. Don't try to dissect everything!
Oh my O' my! Don't get me started about this. I know this is easier for me because of my personality, but I hate dissecting things, people, & situations. (Ask my husband LOL) Over-thinking things is not something I like to do. I am a let's look at the facts, the options, and make a decision kind of girl. I hate when I cannot make a decision (even like something silly like my light fixture in my office. LOL If you follow me on insta & instastories, you know I CANNOT decide what light fixture to get and it's driving me crazy how back and forth I keep going!)
Try not to overanalyze.
Pray first. Digest it to one or a few people if need be and then STOP. If you keep thinking of it.. write it down. Keep a journal of your thoughts and worries and either write them out or pray them to God. I realize that most of the time once I write things down, I can easily forget about them because they are "safe" on paper. And it's also crazy to me how many times I flip back through journals and don't even remember being worried about "such and such" because it was so short lived and not that big of deal in the scheme of things.
*And my last tangent on this part is my advice for mamas: Don't try to figure your kid out everyday. (Yes, I know if they are sick or what not you look for symptoms) but on the day to day regular.. roll with the punches! Especially in the first 2 years. Haddie is now extremely predictable and always was way more than Louie, but even with Louie being a COMPLETE wildcard everyday, I'm so glad I decided not to try to "figure out what was going on" everyday. At their age, they change so much weekly. And as soon as you got a week down to some sort of schedule, they would change, or start teething, drop a nap, or start eating foods. Babies are changing all the time and I would highly advise being "FLEXIBLY SCHEDULED" as I called it. LOL (If you want me to do a blog post on what this meant for us I will, but you can comment below so I know how many people are actually interested!) I know this is hard as a mom because more than anything you want your kid to be predictable and go down for a nap at the same time everyday but most of the time they just don't. Do yourself a favor and don't try to figure them out every day! If something persists for a week, like a certain behavior or strange nap schedule, you can work on it but on the fluke chance that your baby wakes up early one day, don't freak out that it's something you ate, were out too late, or because your baby didn't get enough to eat.. sometimes they just wake up. Roll with it for a day and keep going! Most of my kids quirks or scheduling mishaps worked themselves out by just continuing to be consistent with their eating/nap schedules.
4. Be Thankful & Be Positive.
The grass is always greener where you water it.
I don't know who said that but they are SMART! Seth and I have this framed on our wall and it is a constant reminder to be thankful for what we have and for where we are. Gratitude can change your whole outlook.
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
I do know Theodore Roosevelt said that but that is also one of my favorite quotes because it is SO true!
Look at ALL of YOUR blessings! Look at all of the things the Lord has given you and the way he loves you! When we focus on the positive and on all of the joys in our life, it can really destroy the bad.
My mom keeps a "grateful list" on her fridge each week. Each week she prints out a new list and EVERY DAY she writes down 3 things she is thankful for.
It's a mindset people. Most battles we face are all in our mind anyway!
Choose to be thankful and grateful today. Make a list. Encourage someone. Be on the offensive. Don't wait for someone to talk to you first. Love yourself well and others well! And PRAY.